1/25 As we were heading home from Luke's roller skating birthday outing, I got a phone call from mom that they were headed to the hospital with Alice. We took the kids home, Jayden insisted on going with and the three of us went to Ames to the hospital arriving close to midnight. Alice had not been doing well the last couple days and I think she knew her condition. Her cancer treatment's were causing her platelets to be dangerously low, a term called neutropenic. This makes her extremely susceptible to bacterial infections. We got to go in and see Alice. She was in good spirits, asking us all kinds of questions and talking about this and that. Laying in the hospital bed we could really see how poor Alice's condition was. Her legs were so large from all the fluid build up and swelling, yet on top her shoulders and arms were so thin from weight loss. She was losing weight so rapidly that her throat would tighten making it hard for her to talk and her ears would ring because they were narrowing. It was hard to see her condition worsening and know the inevitable. We talked, hugged, and prayed with Alice before leaving for home.
Saturday we were supposed to be going up to spend the day with Alice at her home and celebrate Luke's birthday. Mom had made cupcakes to have them at Alice's. Instead we went to the hospital to see her. The kids and I picked out a stuffed cat and a bouquet of flowers at the gift shop that Luke gave to Alice. We found one that reminded everyone of snow kitty. The boys also made her signs with prayers on them.She was again in good spirits and we had lots of good talks. We talked about everything, Jake meeting a girl at the skating rink, Jayden getting to know a football player, Luke and his birthday gifts. Alice talked of Jayden going to Oklahoma and how we should buy a bungalo house to stay in while she is in school. Our families could all go take turns staying in it. I like that idea. Alice was even remembering fun memories with each of the kids. We stayed for almost 3 hours. Dad went and ate lunch in the cafeteria and Luke went with. I stayed while Alice had her physical therapy. She struggled to get up and move her legs off the side of the bed. Her legs are so heavy for her to move. It was hard to see her condition. I am thankful she is at the hospital getting good care, pain regulated, and her needs met. We all told Alice we loved her before saying goodbye.This was the first time the boys had seen her like that. Luke knew that she was very sick and only this week I told him she would not be getting better and tonight was the first time I told him it was cancer. He is so young and had so much to process. He had a lot of Questions on the ride home.
On Sunday our family went to church at Cornerstone and then to the hospital. When we visited Alice, she was quiet, barely able to talk. She looked at us without the smiles from the day before and kind of staring off. She even said some things that didnt make sense. Mom said she was going over plans all morning with mom and dad. It wore her out and she took some pain meds. I didn't want to stay too long and have the kids see her like that.
I talked to my Dad and all the rest of the day Sunday and Monday Alice was still not in her right mind. She was asking when Uncle Marion was coming. He died 25 years ago. It broke my heart to think she may not be the same again. We had such a good day on Saturday, she was so happy and smiling, even laughing with us. We talked about all kinds of things and she was the Alice we all know. I am so thankful for that special time we had. I pray that it is just a change in meds and maybe they will figure it out. I have so much more I want to talk about and say to her. I have a photo book coming in the mail that I made with lots of photos of Alice with our families and each person's memories. I want to sit with her and look at that just like we did on Saturday when Jayden sat with her and looked at her horse book. I want her to see those pictures and recall those memories. I want her to see that we have preserved those pictures and will hold onto them. It brought me to tears to think she may not be in her right state of mind again. I wanted more time with her. I prayed many times asking God to keep her mind clear and that she would not be in pain. This is such a hard time for all of us. I don't think Alice will be able to back home. I know there is talk of it and her friends are coming soon. I just don't see how she could go home in her condition. At least they can monitor her pain and keep fluids in her at the hospital. I think they are even going to give her more platelets soon.
I will lean on the Lord to keep me strong through it all.
Isaiah 41:10 Do not be dismayed, for I am with your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
Saturday we were supposed to be going up to spend the day with Alice at her home and celebrate Luke's birthday. Mom had made cupcakes to have them at Alice's. Instead we went to the hospital to see her. The kids and I picked out a stuffed cat and a bouquet of flowers at the gift shop that Luke gave to Alice. We found one that reminded everyone of snow kitty. The boys also made her signs with prayers on them.She was again in good spirits and we had lots of good talks. We talked about everything, Jake meeting a girl at the skating rink, Jayden getting to know a football player, Luke and his birthday gifts. Alice talked of Jayden going to Oklahoma and how we should buy a bungalo house to stay in while she is in school. Our families could all go take turns staying in it. I like that idea. Alice was even remembering fun memories with each of the kids. We stayed for almost 3 hours. Dad went and ate lunch in the cafeteria and Luke went with. I stayed while Alice had her physical therapy. She struggled to get up and move her legs off the side of the bed. Her legs are so heavy for her to move. It was hard to see her condition. I am thankful she is at the hospital getting good care, pain regulated, and her needs met. We all told Alice we loved her before saying goodbye.This was the first time the boys had seen her like that. Luke knew that she was very sick and only this week I told him she would not be getting better and tonight was the first time I told him it was cancer. He is so young and had so much to process. He had a lot of Questions on the ride home.
On Sunday our family went to church at Cornerstone and then to the hospital. When we visited Alice, she was quiet, barely able to talk. She looked at us without the smiles from the day before and kind of staring off. She even said some things that didnt make sense. Mom said she was going over plans all morning with mom and dad. It wore her out and she took some pain meds. I didn't want to stay too long and have the kids see her like that.
I talked to my Dad and all the rest of the day Sunday and Monday Alice was still not in her right mind. She was asking when Uncle Marion was coming. He died 25 years ago. It broke my heart to think she may not be the same again. We had such a good day on Saturday, she was so happy and smiling, even laughing with us. We talked about all kinds of things and she was the Alice we all know. I am so thankful for that special time we had. I pray that it is just a change in meds and maybe they will figure it out. I have so much more I want to talk about and say to her. I have a photo book coming in the mail that I made with lots of photos of Alice with our families and each person's memories. I want to sit with her and look at that just like we did on Saturday when Jayden sat with her and looked at her horse book. I want her to see those pictures and recall those memories. I want her to see that we have preserved those pictures and will hold onto them. It brought me to tears to think she may not be in her right state of mind again. I wanted more time with her. I prayed many times asking God to keep her mind clear and that she would not be in pain. This is such a hard time for all of us. I don't think Alice will be able to back home. I know there is talk of it and her friends are coming soon. I just don't see how she could go home in her condition. At least they can monitor her pain and keep fluids in her at the hospital. I think they are even going to give her more platelets soon.
I will lean on the Lord to keep me strong through it all.
Isaiah 41:10 Do not be dismayed, for I am with your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
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