1/29/19 I went to see Alice on Tuesday. My parents said Alice was pretty mixed up on Monday so I didn't know what to expect on Tuesday. The weather has been so unbearably cold in the negatives with scary cold wind chills. The wind chills got as low as -44! Mark had a meeting and didn't want me to go to Ames alone. Karen insisted she go with me to see Alice, which was very kind and helpful. Jayden too wanted to go and we picked her up from the dorm. We went to the hospital and Alice was well. She was in good spirits and talked to us a lot. She was a little confused some of the time. I had gotten the photo book I ordered for for Alice and brought it for her. I was so excited to show it to her and I held it in her lap and slowly showed it to her one page at a time. I read all the journaling and told her memories for every picture. I had pictures of Wade and I from our childhood to through Christmas of this year. SO many pictures and so many memories. It was special for me and important to me to see that book with her. I was so worried it would not come in time. I was so worried she would not be in the right mindset to comprehend. That was such a blessing for both of us to go through those pages of memories together. She told me things that she remembered about the pictures too. I got to look at that album at least twice with her over the days ahead.
My Dad had been there overnight and was anxious to get home. All the hospital stays were starting to take a toll. I know he wanted to take a shower, get a good nights sleep, check the animals, and make arrangements at home. Then the hospital decided today was the day she would move to hospice care. The team came shortly after noon and got Alice transported to her new room at the Israel house hospice in Ames. It is in the backyard of where our friends Dan and Angelia lived. How I wished they were still living there. It was a hard reality to see Alice moved into hospice. I knew what hospice meant and I was dreading the day it happened. It was all so surreal, like in some kind of dream. This really couldn't be happening. I wasn't ready, I wanted more time. At the same time, knowing Alice would be in hospice, I didn't want her to be there long and suffer. It was a sad situation. I was so glad to be there when Alice was moved. Dad, Karen, Jayden, and I were all there to see her in her new room. Dad and I both sat as they discussed all the paperwork and later were both feeling sad and concerned knowing we both would go home. We were torn, we didnt want Alice to be alone her first night there without anyone and yet we both knew it was going to be dangerously cold and windy the next day and neither of us would be back. The wind chill the next day was -44. Nobody should be out in that kind of cold. We stayed late into the day then both headed home. Alice had one of my quilts on her bed, her room had flowers that we had gotten her, some pictures in frames we all brought. It would have to do until we could be back. I gave Alice a kiss on the forehead and prayed over her before we all went home. Because of the extreme weather, I didn't head back until Thursday. Each time I went, I didn't know what to expect. I knew she would slowly be getting worse and it was unsettling. She was thin and frail and a little weaker, yet she still made every effort to visit and smile. Alice was expecting her two friends from Albuquerque, Betty and Barb. These two ladies had been planning to come out and stay for a week and booked the trip a month ago. The plan was to visit and be with Alice the whole week in her home. She was failing so fast. Her two fiends were nurses Alice had worked with in Albuquerque. IN fact she went back in November and got together with a whole group of nurses and friends. Who better than to take care of her now. I felt sad that the 3 of them didn't get to enjoy the special time they had planned to be together in her home. Alice was so excited for them to come that was all she talked about and couldn't wait. It was the fire that kept her going. She had her blood platelet infusion in the hospital so she was feeling her best, the reality is that it would quickly fade after that.
Alice's room began to feel more like her space with her giant framed photo of the cactus. This was a special piece she brought back from Albuquerque right before Christmas and reminded her of Arizona where she loved to visit and trail ride. It was a favorite and Dad made sure to bring it down to her room. She had photos and flowers around her room along with cards and posters from our families.
1/31/19 Thursday was a good day with Alice. I brought Luke with me and he had his guitar. I wanted him to play for Alice and that he did. She smiled after each song he played and would clap and say" That was beautiful" or " I love that". She was enjoying every song Luke played. What a special gift it is for Luke to use his music in that way. That evening, Alice's nurse friends Barb and Betty arrived, flying in to Minnesota and driving down. Thursday was the best day they had with Alice. She was smiling and talking with them a lot. She also had her cousin Wendy visit and stay often during the day.
1/26/19 On Saturday I went with Barb and Betty for lunch at Hickory Park with Jayden and Mawgee. I got to know the ladies and enjoy their different personalities. They bought a banana milkshake back for Alice, said they are her favorite. One evening, I took Jake to his youth group bowling outing. I stopped by with him to see Alice. She was in a heavy sleep and it was hard to see her looking so frail. It was hard for Jake to see her like that and I could tell he was very uncomfortable, so I didn't have him stay long. I took him to his group and I went and stayed with Alice. She was still in a deep sleep and each breath seemed heavy and difficult. I sat with her and Barb and Betty talked with me. They seem like very kind women with fun outgoing personalities, and I can see how Alice would have had a lot of fun with them. I am so glad they came to be with her, stay with her overnight, and care for her. If she wanted anything, a special drink or snack, Barb and Betty made a store run to get it for her. They fed her anything she would eat. Alice really wanted her kitties to visit, but it was too hard to make that happen. Barb and Betty were willing to remove a screen to her window and sneak them into her room. Those ladies would do anything for Alice. They stayed with her overnight taking turns sleeping in her room. I love them for that. I hope I am that committed a friend someday and have friends that would do that for me. Friends like that are far and few. God puts people in our lives when we need them most, like angels send from heaven. These two were Alice's Angels.
My Dad had been there overnight and was anxious to get home. All the hospital stays were starting to take a toll. I know he wanted to take a shower, get a good nights sleep, check the animals, and make arrangements at home. Then the hospital decided today was the day she would move to hospice care. The team came shortly after noon and got Alice transported to her new room at the Israel house hospice in Ames. It is in the backyard of where our friends Dan and Angelia lived. How I wished they were still living there. It was a hard reality to see Alice moved into hospice. I knew what hospice meant and I was dreading the day it happened. It was all so surreal, like in some kind of dream. This really couldn't be happening. I wasn't ready, I wanted more time. At the same time, knowing Alice would be in hospice, I didn't want her to be there long and suffer. It was a sad situation. I was so glad to be there when Alice was moved. Dad, Karen, Jayden, and I were all there to see her in her new room. Dad and I both sat as they discussed all the paperwork and later were both feeling sad and concerned knowing we both would go home. We were torn, we didnt want Alice to be alone her first night there without anyone and yet we both knew it was going to be dangerously cold and windy the next day and neither of us would be back. The wind chill the next day was -44. Nobody should be out in that kind of cold. We stayed late into the day then both headed home. Alice had one of my quilts on her bed, her room had flowers that we had gotten her, some pictures in frames we all brought. It would have to do until we could be back. I gave Alice a kiss on the forehead and prayed over her before we all went home. Because of the extreme weather, I didn't head back until Thursday. Each time I went, I didn't know what to expect. I knew she would slowly be getting worse and it was unsettling. She was thin and frail and a little weaker, yet she still made every effort to visit and smile. Alice was expecting her two friends from Albuquerque, Betty and Barb. These two ladies had been planning to come out and stay for a week and booked the trip a month ago. The plan was to visit and be with Alice the whole week in her home. She was failing so fast. Her two fiends were nurses Alice had worked with in Albuquerque. IN fact she went back in November and got together with a whole group of nurses and friends. Who better than to take care of her now. I felt sad that the 3 of them didn't get to enjoy the special time they had planned to be together in her home. Alice was so excited for them to come that was all she talked about and couldn't wait. It was the fire that kept her going. She had her blood platelet infusion in the hospital so she was feeling her best, the reality is that it would quickly fade after that.
Alice's room began to feel more like her space with her giant framed photo of the cactus. This was a special piece she brought back from Albuquerque right before Christmas and reminded her of Arizona where she loved to visit and trail ride. It was a favorite and Dad made sure to bring it down to her room. She had photos and flowers around her room along with cards and posters from our families.1/31/19 Thursday was a good day with Alice. I brought Luke with me and he had his guitar. I wanted him to play for Alice and that he did. She smiled after each song he played and would clap and say" That was beautiful" or " I love that". She was enjoying every song Luke played. What a special gift it is for Luke to use his music in that way. That evening, Alice's nurse friends Barb and Betty arrived, flying in to Minnesota and driving down. Thursday was the best day they had with Alice. She was smiling and talking with them a lot. She also had her cousin Wendy visit and stay often during the day.
1/26/19 On Saturday I went with Barb and Betty for lunch at Hickory Park with Jayden and Mawgee. I got to know the ladies and enjoy their different personalities. They bought a banana milkshake back for Alice, said they are her favorite. One evening, I took Jake to his youth group bowling outing. I stopped by with him to see Alice. She was in a heavy sleep and it was hard to see her looking so frail. It was hard for Jake to see her like that and I could tell he was very uncomfortable, so I didn't have him stay long. I took him to his group and I went and stayed with Alice. She was still in a deep sleep and each breath seemed heavy and difficult. I sat with her and Barb and Betty talked with me. They seem like very kind women with fun outgoing personalities, and I can see how Alice would have had a lot of fun with them. I am so glad they came to be with her, stay with her overnight, and care for her. If she wanted anything, a special drink or snack, Barb and Betty made a store run to get it for her. They fed her anything she would eat. Alice really wanted her kitties to visit, but it was too hard to make that happen. Barb and Betty were willing to remove a screen to her window and sneak them into her room. Those ladies would do anything for Alice. They stayed with her overnight taking turns sleeping in her room. I love them for that. I hope I am that committed a friend someday and have friends that would do that for me. Friends like that are far and few. God puts people in our lives when we need them most, like angels send from heaven. These two were Alice's Angels.
Comments