The trips to Mayo are heavy on my mind and tend to cause some stress. Tuesday morning I was ready to start school with the boys. We were at the table starting devotions and talking about things when Mark came in and wanted the boys to go out in the tin shed and move all their stuff, toys, junk and clear it all out. We were talking at least an hours worth of work. The carpenters were coming this very morning to work. Nothing like last minute. I was stressing, upset that we didn't do school yesterday, I had the day planned, I had expectations, things that needed to get done. I have a hard time just letting go and not worrying about it. In the afternoon, Jayden and I went to ride up at the Dayton arena. It was a sun shining hot day reaching almost 80. Wednesday the boys were not listening, not cooperating, Luke was in tears, Jake was mad, it was just spiraling and I was stressing. For three days in a row, I felt the worst, my stomach would be in knots, my body tense, and my head foggy. I stress over little things, I just cant seem to handle them. There is just something about this time of year that I really struggle as a homeschool mom. So, today I felt like a bomb was ready to go off. I told the kids I was going to town and I was going alone! It had rained all morning, so Mark said he could go with me. I was happy to have him join me. I needed someone to talk to, someone to vent my frustrations and feelings. I apologized before I began to vent because I felt bad he had to be the one to hear all my sorrows . He shouldn't be the person I dump all my stress on. I feel bad that I don't have any friends to talk to. I don't have anyone to have heart to heart talks with. A person needs many friends, it is healthy, it is necessary, it is is important and very important to me. So today, Mark who is my best friend listened as I let it all out. I called today and scheduled a chiropractor appointment and a massage. The chances of getting to schedule both the same day that you call in is basically impossible. Today somebody was looking out for me and knew I really needed it and I got in. IT was so relaxing. Then Mark wanted ice cream so we stopped and got his favorite. I was even feeling bad that I don't have any nice clothes, I really don't. Most of my clothes I have had more than 5 years. Today I pulled out a cute top that is older than Luke. While eating ice cream a random lady told me she really liked my shirt and it looked so good on me. Then she told Mark that he has a lovely lady. That made me feel good, I needed that today. We got groceries and ran errands, then ate at Red Lobster. Just Mark and I on a Wednesday night eating out was so nice. I was feeling better as the day went on.. Sometimes you just need a refresher to press on. A great surprise was when I got home and saw the house had been cleaned by none other than my own kids. That was so awesome! I am a very lucky woman and I need to just let the little things go!
Comments