Friday morning Daisy had gotten much worse and couldn't get her back legs up or working. It was bitter cold and she was no longer able to get around. I knew it was time and had to make that terrible choice. It was one I knew was coming and I told myself I would know when it was time, yet it wasn't easy. I made a call to a vet and they came out to put Daisy down. I was putting our family pet down on the morning I left for my aunts funeral and yet another aunt in hospice. I held her and loved on her telling her over and over she was my sweet girl. This was a hard day.
After lunch we drove to Minnesota for the funeral Saturday.
My mom went with Wade and Carina and my Dad stayed back with Alice. It was such a hard time. I know my dad wanted to go be with family to support and be there for Rose's funeral. He also didn't want to leave Alice. He knew her time was nearing with each passing day. He didn't want her to be alone. Wade and his family stayed in the same hotel and let the kids swim until the pool closed.
Saturday morning the boys were up and in the pool with Alivia. I went down and had breakfast with Mom and Jayden. Thats when they told me that Alice passed in the night. My Dad was with her and it was around midnight. I felt so sad for my Dad, alone in the room with Alice. He didn't know what to do,he didn't have anyone there to hug and cry with him. He didn't have anyone to tell him what to do next and be with him on the drive home. My heart was aching, this was all so much! I went to the room and curled in a ball and cried. I just needed some alone time, time to soak it all in, time to pray. The day I go to my Aunt Rose's funeral, I lose my Aunt Alice. So much sadness, so much to bear. There wasn't time to mourn. I didn't know what to mourn first, it was overload. We had to be at the church at 11. I just focused on what came next and went into survival mode and wanted to get through the day.
We were at the funeral early for the visitation and to see family. I saw my cousin John first and we made each other cry. Just seeing him and Laura flooded the emotions. I kept thinking Rose would be coming up to ask about my drive, giving me a hug, smiling her big happy smile. This was her church, she would be coming any minute. I had been to her church many times over the years. Some for good times, some for funerals. This would likely be the last time I would be in her church. Some of Rose's friends remembered me and gave me hugs and cried. She was so involved in her church and had many friends. All the Laugerman families were gathered around visiting. I saw some of Suzette's family. I remember the girls from years ago, Jamie, Dena, and Yvette. it was fun to reconnect with them. I saw Mary Ann, Rose's only sister that I knew well. Rose had a large family with many siblings. I gave John Jones a hug and he talked to me and thanked me many times for the encouraging words and prayers and for being so good to them, as he would put it. He was staying strong considering all that had happened. The funeral was hard, the music, and sitting behind John and his family. I heard the song, "It is Well" and I cried. I was asked by Laura to read a eulogy. At first I wrote my own, but I ended up reading one written by Candi Twedt, who could not be there. She did a fabulous job and was so good with words that mine did not compare. Candi was far away on a trip in which John and Rose had made arrangements to go and join them for a week vacationing. How sad for all of them. Candi was Rose's closest friend while living in Iowa. They went to the same church and were very close. I was nervous and so worried how I was going to keep it together standing in front reading. I stood directly in front of John and his family and Laura and hers. I didn't make eye contact and had to choke back a few tears before I began. Candi wrote about Rose's love for the Lord and how she shared that with everyone. She told of her trials and some fun stories. John Jones spoke and gave his story of meeting Rose and a summary of their lives together. It would be 3 short years of marriage in April. They spent every day of their married lives together and traveled nearly 40 states together. They were two of a kind and just had a love like no other. They were so in love and it showed in their happiness. They traveled and visited all the friends and family they possibly could in such a short time. They were so full of life and love for others.
A few people, Mark and I included, braved the bitter cold north Minnesota wind to attend the burial. My teeth were chattering and my legs were frozen. It was in the 20's with a strong wind. I wanted to be there.
Back at the church we had a light lunch and brief visit with family before heading back home. I wanted to go back to the house. It made me cry to think about the house. I was just there. I stayed in October with Luke. I love Rose's home. It is so cute with a big sunroom, cozy kitchen, open living room, and a giant theater room in the basement. I wondered if I would ever see it again, if I would ever go back. What will become of it and John Jones? It all was so sad. This past week was a flood of sadness filling every inch of me. It was exhausting.
The letter from Candi that I read....Dear Rose,
When I think of you I
thank God for your steadfast faith. You made Jesus the center of your
personality allowing Him to use you in remarkable ways. I watched you share the
gospel with those God brought before you. Always in prayer for them, allowing
the Holy Spirit to work through you. Sweet words of love delivered with a smile
and affection.
You were my spiritual
mentor. Loving, gentle, guiding in Biblical truths, always patient, always
encouraging. Every trial was brought before the Lord in prayer. Those of us
privileged to pray with you were lifted to the heavenlies as you shared your
heart in the simple, sweet knowledge that Jesus was listening. I was at peace
when I knew you were praying.
After your move to Waconia
I came to visit several times just for R&R. I would absorb your peace and
faith. We would laugh and pray together and I would return home refreshed from
my “Rose Fix.” I’m sure there are others here today who have benefited from
your gracious hospitality, and experienced Jesus’ touch through you. You had
the gift of making all those you met feel like they were your very special
friend. In reality I think we all were. You loved us. You listened to our
problems. You encouraged us with a bright smile reminding us Jesus loved us and
He was in control. For many of us, there
were times you were the glue that held us together. Thank you.
I admired your loving way
with your children and grandchildren. You were their greatest cheerleader Rose.
A wonderful loving wife, mother and grandmother. Your love, prayers, positive
attitude, and pride in their accomplishments will follow them the rest of their
lives.
Your creativity had no
bounds. I remember when you shortened a dress for me. You had no pattern, but
used the material that was cut off to make a darling jacket. I remember the
cinnamon rolls that needed frosting, but alas, there was no powdered sugar. No
problem. With a bright smile, and the words, “I guess I’ll have to make some,”
you tossed the sugar into the blender and in no time produced powdered sugar.
(Why would anyone do anything else?) Do you remember the day Laura and Mark’s
new furniture arrived? Laura was gone, but we took it upon ourselves to arrange
it the way we thought best. We had fun creating that day! (What a great sport Laura was.)
Rose, your unshakable
faith and your courage were an inspiration for me and for all those who knew
you. When it became apparent your family would need to leave the farm and head
to the cities you simply prayed and moved forward. I remember you hadn’t been
driving long. I feared for you navigating in so much traffic. You told me you
were afraid, but you simply prayed and envisioned an angel with outstretched
wings on the hood of the car leading the way. That angel did good work for many
years didn’t he!
Your unselfish, patient
care for Dean, and then Angie, was a shining example. So many ups and downs, and difficult
decisions to be made. Yet you exhibited no self pity. During such stressful times you continued
loving your precious family and friends.
Jesus oozed out of you. You remained available for God to use you
because you simply trusted Him for the next step. You never doubted He would
meet your need.
Craig often said when he
thought of you, he pictured a sweet, huggable Teddy Bear. Cheerful, helpful,
loving, comforting and Safe. You were a friend to all.
When God sent John to you
we all rejoiced in your happiness. You both blossomed in your love. Again your
focus was on others.
I suspect there are many
here today who, like me, felt there was never enough time to finish visiting
with you. When we got together it was as if time had stood still. Our
conversation resumed as if we had never been apart. I remember a discussion we
had about heaven. We imagined the delight of long conversations only
interrupted by worshipping Jesus.
I will remember your infectious
giggle and your beautiful smile. You had an innocence about you that was
endearing. You were indomitable, gracious, kind, caring, easy going, generous, and so “CUTE”! (Just to name a few.) You allowed your faith
to define you. For many of us you were the “wind beneath our wings” because you
allowed Jesus to be the wind beneath yours.
For now we say good bye
Rose. We shed tears of human grief at our loss, but, we celebrate with you at
the completion of your earthly journey. The glories of heaven can only be
imagined by us. In my imaginings, I picture you animatedly visiting with Jesus
and encouraging Him. I hear Him speak the words “well done thou good and
faithful servant.”
I thank Jesus for allowing
your sweet presence in my life. You have been like a sister, always available,
always positive and encouraging, always leading me to Jesus. My life is richly
blessed because I have known you.
When I enter heaven I
anticipate you being among the first to greet me. I will recognize your big
beautiful smile and the joyous glint of light in your eyes. Until then, you,
dear friend, will always live in my heart.
Love, Candi
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