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Christmas Evening

Christmas with the families on Mark's side has changed so much over the past 3 years. I have really noticed it this year. We went from little girls filled with the excitment of Christmas to teenagers. They would come dressed in some new outfit they got for Christmas and tell each other about their favorite gifts. Then they would go and plan together with props and outfits and put on a Christmas play. Now the girls are growing up and 5 of them are in college. The talk is all about boyfriends, weddings, college,and name brand clothing. The adults complain about how much our dinner costs, some cannot wait for the gifts, and some boast about getting exactly what they wanted for Chritsmas because they picked it out. This year for the gift exchange I got socks. Not really sure if it was meant to be a joke, cruel, or maybe they really truly thought I needed socks. It just doesn't feel like much thought goes into the gifts anymore. I gave a gift in honor of each family through World Vision , chicken, goat, milk, water in addition to the gift exchange. I think it is very neat and wish we could all do that instead of the gift exchange. Our gifting got mixed up and somehow both Mark’s sisters gave us gifts. I graciously took my unwrapped gift for Mark and I and gave them over to the other couple. As they opened what was picked out for us, they boasted about what we “would have” gotten. Just doesn’t feel right. Feels so different from the past few year. Matt was excited as he and Libby got to buy for Jacob. They were excited and nervous for Jake to open his gift, a BB gun. Little did they know Jake got a .22 that morning. It didn’t take long and they knew. I always feel bad when someone gives what they think is the perfect gift and they already got one. Or there’s the giver who spent time and painted something personal and the other says I wanted a different one made. The conversation has changed from what the kids were doing, sports, activities, to small talk about insignificant things. Nobody ever asks us anything about our family, how is homeschool, how is Jayden’s new job, how is Luke’s taekwondo. It really has changed in many ways and make me very sad. I miss the days when the kids were younger. I guess I need to accept that we are all changing.
We ate a big dinner around 4, then snacked all evening and some played board games.
When we got home in the evening, I felt rather exhausted. I can't help thinking how much I enjoyed spending Christmas in Jamaica. I know Mark would strongly disagree, but that was one of the best Christmases ever to me. I did not like being away from the boys, however I enjoyed getting away from the hustle and bustle that drains the Christmas spirit. I enjoyed being in Jamaica under the dark stary night in a place where I felt like I was near the nativity.

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