Nov 6- Jayden's birthday did not go the way she had hoped. She was excited about her 21st birthday and wanted to celebrate big. Last year on her birthday she hauled her horse Astro off to be sold., It was kind of a sad and lonely birthday for her. This year she wanted to go big and have fun. She wanted her family to be with her, and that we did. In the late hours of the evening, things turned into a mess and Noah broke off their relationship. I found this out through a text Jake got from Noah.I didn't waste a minute and headed straight to Jayden's house where we cried together and I held her. Nothing made sense and she cried knowing he would never speak to her again and would never see him again. She told me he had surprised her the morning of her birthday and made her breakfast. She was finally happy with life; she felt content , happy in her relationship, horses doing well, college going good. Now she felt her world was crashing down and regretted feeling so good. She kept asking why did everything have to be so good? She was sad to think of his family, the past week they had gone on back roads hunting deer and watching sunsets, and the recent weekend in Texas with his family. She hurt thinking about how the two of them had planned to spend their lives together. She was in love with him and he with her. They were going to get married, they had plans for a future together. He angered me that he did this on her birthday, her 21st with family there. I held my baby and was so glad that I could be there for her when she needed me most. It all stemmed from trust issues and jealousy while Jayden was out with her freinds for her 21st birthday. There were reasons to get upset, but no reason to go to the extremes of ending things. I told her to get dressed and put one foot in front of the other, little steps forward. The rest of the day and the trip were kind of spoiled from then on. I felt terrible as we all did. Each one of us felt awful in a different way, but all felt the worst for Jayden. Mark, the boys, and my parents were all hurting with her. My mom is like me and she doesn't want to see Jayden hurting. We are empathetic and feel her pain. Mark and Jake took care of the Dodge truck that was sitting at Noah's. He didn't even help with it, they had to get all his stuff including tires out of the back. My parents and I went through the town museum. It was a distraction, but it wasn't working very well. My head was racing and my stomach full of knots. The evening plan was to have a little birthday party for Jayden at the hotel, which we still did. She put on a smile and muddled through the evening. We sat in the hot tub, then ate in the lobby. Our family and my parents ordered pizza and had the goodies I brought, special frosted cookies. We all tried to avoid the obvious and make the most of our party. Jayden stayed with us in the hotel, sleeping in the bed beside me. My heart ached for her and my thoughts continued in a restless sleep. I know she didn't sleep well. I don't imagine any of us did.
First thing Saturday morning, Mark had to deal with the truck. They had a mechanic shop order a headlight and put it in for us. Jake was super excited about the truck, yet upset with how it got damaged. Mark was annoyed with the truck problems and concerned about the truck giving Jake problems because it has high mileage and isn't the kind of truck he would have liked Jake to start out with. It has to be every boys dream truck. It is a Dodge Ram 2500 year 2006, 14 years old with leather seats, a loud exhaust, a modern radio, lifted with big tires and cool rims, and a lot of modifications and tuning that make it cool.
Nov 7 I hated to leave Jayden and wished I could stay a few more days. We now had two trucks to drive home, so I had to drive one. I had hoped my parents could stay as they had originally planned. My mom didn't have enough going on to interest her in the little town of Alva. We gave goodbye hugs and cried some more before driving away. Luke and I drove the Tahoe to KC. My mind wandered the entire time thinking of Jayden and Noah. Luke was a great distraction, every time my mind was deep in thought, he would chatter on about something. Most of the time I wasn't hearing what he was talking about but it was enough to stop my thoughts for awhile. He likes to talk about things he sees on the road, a certain truck, a field of cotton, a farm, semi's, the scenery, just about anything. Mark rode with Jake in the white truck. Jake was all smiles when he finally got behind the wheel and got to roll coal, in other words blow black smoke out the exhaust. He smoked me out plenty. The truck was really loud and it doesn't take much on the accelerator to hear it. He was having fun with it 
We surprised the boys by stopping and staying at the Great Wolf Lodge. We made this into a little birthday surprise for Jake. He really enjoys water parks. Mark and I made reservations and didn't tell them anything until we pulled in. Mark and I were also looking forward to something that would bring us out of the frump we were all feeling. The boys were so excited and our room was big and cozy with a second floor loft. I found a good deal for the stay online and saved a lot. We were at the waterpark a couple hours, then went to eat. The COVID restrictions were just like everything else, they made no sense at all. You were to wear a mask at all times in the hotel and halls. Once in the waterpark you took them off. The waterpark was busy and crowded, kids and families everywhere. There was no social distancing, the lines for the waterslides were crowded and long waits. The lazy river was crowded with people in and out of tubes. We enjoyed it and the boys had fun. I couldn't help but think, if I get COVID, it is going to be from this trip due to three different hotels and a busy waterpark.
Nov 8, Sunday we had to wait until 10 for the waterpark to open. We wanted the boys to enjoy it before we headed back home. I wasn't in the mood so just sat and watched. We had lunch and finally made the last leg home, I in the White truck with Jake, and Mark and Luke in the Tahoe. Jake is in love with his truck. He rolled coal and punched the accelerator making it go so crazy fast. Now this momma will have to worry about the truck's speed. It was good to finally get home that night. We were all physically and emotionally drained. It was not the relaxing enjoyable weekend we had hoped, but I am thankful I got to be there with Jayden.
One of Jayden's friends knew what she was going through and talked her into going to a barrel race. It was a good distraction and nice that she had a friend to be with. They went to Kansas and ran at a Cancer benefit. You could run in memory or honor of someone. Jayden ran in memory of Aunt Alice. She made a really good run on Joker. Alice was with Jayden when she found Joker and she thinks of that often. Today she made a great run for Alice.
As she rolled into the week, communication with Noah started with a text, than a stop by to give Jayden her coat, then finally talking in person. Jayden had spent much time in prayer and gave it all to God. She was sad and hurt, yet strong and had decided she would be ok with whatever path God would take things, she would not force it. Last weekend she was sure he would never speak to her again. The gun she bought Noah for his birthday, he left it at her house after the break up. It bothered Jayden so she went and sold it. I was a little shocked and thought she probably should have waited a little. It was evident Noah was miserable without Jayden and he didn't want to lose her. It sounded like he had a pretty rough weekend himself. In fact he brought back his dog from home to stay with him. As the week went on, the two of them had lots of long deep conversations discussing many issues. Jayden made it clear to Noah that in order to make their relationship work, they have to first put God in the center, pray together, and communicate, and maybe even seek counseling. What an emotional roller coaster for her and all of us. I pray for them, their relationship and that God's hand would be in it. I pray that he makes it known to them if it should not work and if it should work that he gives them wisdom in moving forward.
Here is a song that rolled through my head over the week and the lyrics.
I can't wait to show you where I grew up Walk you 'round the foothills of my town
Probably feel like you've been there before After hearing all the stories I've been telling you
For six months now We'll probably have to sleep in separate bedrooms
Pack a shirt for church because we'll go I'm not trying to scare you off but
I just thought that we should talk a few things out Before we hit the road
If I bring you home to mama I guess I'd better warn ya
She falls in love a little faster than I do And my dad will check your tires
Pour you whiskey over ice and Take you fishing but pretend that he don't like you
Oh, if we break up, I'll be fine But you'll be breaking more hearts than mine
My sister's gonna ask a million questions Say anything she can to turn you red
And when you meet my high school friends They'll buy you drinks and fill you in
On all the crazy nights I can't outlive So if I bring you home to mama
I guess I'd better warn ya She falls in love a little faster than I do
And my dad will check your tires Pour you whiskey over ice and
Buy you dinner but pretend that he don't like you Oh, if we break up, I'll be fine
But you'll be breaking more hearts than mine
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