4 Caskets

1/22/16 On Thursday Mark and I were discussing what to do for the weekend memorial. We talked about whether to go to the funeral or the visitation. I dread the thought of either as it would be so heartbreaking and sad. The visitation is hard because you have to see all the family in person and talk to them. I can’t imagine what to say and to look into such sad faces. There will also be so very many many people we would likely be in a line for hours. The funeral will be the hardest funeral ever and to see those little caskets with those precious children, I just didn’t think I could do it. There will be so many people family and school classmates. To see the kids crying for their friend and teachers for their student. It just breaks so many heart. The funeral will be huge at the Burnside school which does not hold enough people and is always a problem parking. It will be overfull. Then we got a text that Larry Sorenson asked that our families, meaning Mark, his parents, and sisters families be present for the family visitation prior to the public visitation. My heart is heavy and hurting for the family and now I am going to be in the heart of it. I am praying to be strong and support this family in their most horrible situation. I am praying for them all and to help them through this. This is by far the hardest loss I have ever been faced with. I do not know those that died. I do not know the husband/father, but I am so incredibly sad for him. To lose a wife or to lose a child would be awful, but to lose them all would be unimaginable. I will be there with Mark to support the family and hope that our being there is a comfort to them. 

4 Caskets lined up in front of the gym was the worst thing I have ever seen. It was beyond sad. My heart broke at the very sight and I do not even know them. Mark and I walked into the school building. As we walked along the hallway, I saw posters on the walls from the elementary kids with notes and drawings, we love you, we miss you, It's ok to cry, and many more. at that point I cried. We walked closer to the families and they were trying to be strong and think happy thoughts and small talk and here I was trying my hardest to hold back those tears. I wasn't even family. There was a slideshow playing and I saw this big bright smile from this adorable little boy with beautiful eyes and it hit me again. He is so young and taken too soon. Larry came by and hugged Mark and then Troy. Troy hugged me and cried with me. Troy and I go back to post college days when i worked at Fort Dodge Animal Health. I have known Troy for several years. He is the Grandfather of the children. His only Grandchildren. He held a well worn stuffed animal in his hand. My heart hurt. Then into the gym we walked and there were the 4 caskets lined up in a row, the saddest sight ever. Mom, daughters, and son. We were there when the Dad walked through weak and sobbing. He had family hold him up as he went to each person weak and grieving. It was awful. I saw him pull a pink baby doll out of a bag and place it into one casket.  More hurting heartache. I did not want to walk through, but had no choice. We were considered family and with Troy, Lori, Tim, and Melinda we walked. I don't want to remember the sight of the little children surrounded by all their stuffed animals, dolls, toys, and trinkets that were special to them. It truly is a blessing in so many ways that the caskets were open. It was peace of mind for me and so many others. They did not burn, but suffocated. It is to horrible to think about details. They keep running through my head. Larry and Bonnie seemed lost as they sat in their chairs being greeted and hugging people. He put his head in Mark's shoulder and sobbed. At that moment I realized how important it was for Mark to be there and had no regrets in going. He told Mark how it was a tradition in the family to go get new suits for a funeral of a family member. he told Mark how much he appreciated the money and had taken the family men and got them all new suits. He talked to Mark for quite some time. Bonnie held photos in her hand someone had given and proudly showed them. They were the two youngest in shorts and boots, holding onto a little lamb with big smiles. This was to be there year to show bottle lambs at the fair. As we walked out of the gym there were rows of flowers. I saw a beautiful stunning bouquet that we sent, I ordered from our 4 families. I was gorgeous. I felt numb leaving the gym. I have been praying many times throughout the day for all of the family, especially the father/husband. I will pray for this often. 
Outside, we had an instant distraction as we were taking Cash W. to Luke's birthday party. His parents met us so they could go to the visitation without Cash and Luke is a good friend with Cash. His cute little conversation and questions kept our mind somewhat off what we just went through. It was a rough night.