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Those Days

There are days, several of them when I just want to pull my hair out in anger. I have those days and today was one of them. Nothing out of the ordinary for us. It started out a good day, I got to volunteer in Luke’s pre-school room during his Christmas party. It was fun with the cute little activities they played and how happy Luke was to have me there. It was also a very nice day out, temps almost to the 50’s. Still no snow and feeling more like spring than fall. The stresses of last minute Christmas wrapping and packaging and last minute ideas are stressing me out. Did I get enough for this person, should I get more for them? The kids, are they going to have the same number, will they be happy with what they got? Will Santa bring that very special thing that they have on their list or will Santa not succeed? It is too late for last minute Amazon or ebay orders even with super extra shipping, trust me I checked. I have learned to test things with batteries before Christmas morning, sure enough one thing failed me today, so now what!? The boys, oh the boys!! The evening goes from scream to shout to fight all evening from the time Jake gets home from school until they go to bed. Some nights they can play wonderful together, others not at all. Tonight should not have been so bad. Luke was with Grammer until after supper. Although it was fuss and fight after fight. The house seems to go along with Jake’s mood and his mood can change in the drop of a hat. Back and forth the boys go, I put them both in time out together. Later back to fighting over the blocks and finally I tell them they are done and must put all there toys away. All the work they put into building all kinds of things out of those blocks makes them cry as they pick up. When Jake is mad, he is furious and it takes its toll on us all. I can only handle so much. This time he exceeded his warnings and it was a Daddy spank. More than anything Jake is mad, raging furious mad. I can’t imagine such anger from a little kid. It is scary to me. It is sad to me, I don’t want to see my child have this much anger. I put him in the “chill out” corner of bean bags. 5 minutes and he is like a new kid, calm and ok. Later it starts all over again pestering sister and brother. Now it is more time in the time out mat again. I want him to be happy to have fun to not worry to just be care free. He gets mad over everything. What can I do to help I want to help, I also want to scream out in frustration. By the time we get through the battle of bedtime, which is a fight, I am exhausted. I pray and pray that we can parent these kids that God will show us how to deal with these situations. I pray that God will help Jacob control his emotions. We pray together. I ask God to give me the patience I need with him and the guidance to know what to do.

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